"I just don't feel comfortable"

Sunday night I had a breakdown. It was the middle of the night. I was exhausted, but I could not sleep. I was grieved. I was so homesick. Homesick for Beckett, John Scott, and Cathryn, family, my small hometown, familiar faces, Centeal Standard time zone,  familiar smells (the smells here are
very interesting), familiar food, my routine schedule, my favorite shopping spots (I think Deep South Pout would do great here!), my comfortable life. I grieved because my comforts had been removed. What I realized is that I can so easily trust and rely on my "comforts" instead of the maker/giver of
comfort things. A quote from my favorite 6 year old,"I just don't feel comfortable"
The "familiar things" are not bad, but it's when the good things become what my heart yearns for and
desires above all. When I am in my "comfortable life", I can easily forget how much I need my
Savior...every hour of every day. I've been reminded here, and it's been a good reminder. In my "comfortable life", I am the one who loses because I miss seeing God as a personal God that loves me more that I can imagine. I miss out on truly knowing the names of God...Comforter, Provider, Creator, The Great I Am! He has provided peace when my heart has ached for my kids in MS. He has provided encouragement in the form of a text, email. He has provided Protection. He has provided friends and family to be on this journey with us. He has provided a smile and a laugh from our new daughter! God is all around us, in all the little details. When we don't know the language, not crazy about the food, not distracted with clothing/shopping options, we aren't worried about fitting in...because we obviously don't....there He is, and we can more clearly see Him.
He called our family to China (I must remind you, adoption was never my idea) to pick up Dottie. It has been hard, but He has constantly reminded me that He will never leave me...instead He is very present.

I have loved this song for many months, but the words have come to life over the past few days....
"Oceans" by Hillsong. (The parenthesis are my thoughts on how this song has spoken to me)

You call me out upon the waters.
The great unknown where feet may fail (Adoption, You called us to this)

And there I find You in the mystery. (China...this place is a mystery to me).

In oceans deep (we are in way over our heads, the oceans are very deep)
My faith will stand. I will call upon Your name (I have called on Your name, and You are faithful in all circumstances)

And keep my eyes above the waves (I will not look at all the overwhelming situations, I'll keep my eyes on You).
When oceans (discouragement, doubt, fear) rise my soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide (I will put my trust in You because You are in control)
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now (I am weak, unprepared, I'll-equipt, and full of fear, but again, I'm reminded that God never fails, He will never leave me). 

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me (we would not be able to do this without God).
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior (Only you can give me the strength, confidence, love, grace that allows me to walk the path You have planned for me. I have definitely  been pushed deeper:out if my 
comforts: places I would not chose to wander, but in the hard, my faith has been made stronger. In the deep, hard water, I know the Presence of God)

I'm clinging to His promises today!

"The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; Do not be discouraged."  Deuteronomy 31:8